

~Passion is the Fashion~
I was around 10 years old when I decided I wanted a career in fashion. It all started as something me and my best friend, at the time just kinda did for fun. We designed clothes for our "club" Blacktown and we made a little catalog thingy.I would just sketch and sketch these fashion designs. Not just to boost my own ego, but I wasn't just another kid drawing what she would like to wear (probably to look more like their big sister!), I realized that when I designed my outfits I would was able to let my imagination go in a way that I couldn't do with anything else. At that point I already began to see that it was something that I truly loved.
Regardless of the fact that my career dream has changed a few times, it always somehow comes back to fashion:
Designing: Fashion design was my first fashion dream. Between the 6th and the 7th grade, I was pretty relentless with my designs. I designed looks whenever there was a spare moment. Some people were intrigued by it, others found it slightly odd. I had sketched over 100 designs, that I think even the professionals would have killed for some of them! I even took up sewing when I got my machine in the 7th grade for Christmas. Nobody was around to teach me really, so I guess I can say I'm a self-taught seamstress. You'd be amazed on what you can learn on your own! The downfall of my designing dream came when I lost my portfolio....:( Over a hundred of my best designs, GONE! I'll admit I was pretty distraught and a little discouraged after that. I've strayed away from this dream, however I still sew and there's still a lot more I would like to learn. When a great idea pops in my head...I still find myself sketching it! So I guess I won't say I've strayed away from it...just demoted it!
Modeling: Modeling was something that I kinda just stumbled into. Ok, so after America's Next Top Model, every young girl in America wanted to be a model...and I was no exception! It was something I borderline obssessed about! I was so determined that I wanted to be the next Tyra Banks or Kimora Lee-Simmons (still my idol by the way!). I took tons and tons of pictures, spent countless hours making faces in the bathroom mirror, and pranced up and down the kitchen, ANY hallway, driveway...you name it! I did two Fashion Bug fashion shows (unpaid but, hey, I got a 40% discount!), but most of my "modeling career" was auditions. I live in good old Greensboro, North Carolina, so any opportunity that had the word "modeling", trust me there are very few, I was there! Most of them were modeling schools that a) I couldn't afford and b) who knows if they were scams?! I didn't care; I was going to be a model. My "career" includes auditions with: Barbizon Modeling School, ProScouts, John Casablancas, MIC Convention, and a pageant audition. To tell you the truth, I made every audition I went on, but when the cost came up, usually that was something they left until the end (how convenient?), it would usually be $500 on up! I would make the auditions...only to be let down because of the cost! Eventually, decided to actually pay for me to go to one of the conferences (mostly due to guilt). I went to the "Modeling In the Carolinas" in Charlotte last May. There were agents from all around the world LA, New York, Paris, Tokyo, you name it...it only cost my mom $899! This was my shot that turned out to be a disappointment....and a waste of my mom's money! For that cost we were not fed or house for the 2-days. The $900 was only for the CHANCE to be discovered and only promised exposure. Welp...that's all I got! I visited with a lot of the agents and none had really interest in me, most not even giving me any feedback. One agent told me that she had already had models with my look (probably meaning "black girls") but I had nice lips. This one agent's comment remains in my head. He asks, "How old are you", I say, "17", then he says, "You look like you're 11!" This comments haunts me because people often think I'm younger than I am and now I feel like I need to wear eyeliner every single day because it makes me look older. After that blow to my ego and after turning 18, I decided that I was not going after it hardcore...not saying if a good modeling opportunity comes around I wouldn't take it!